|Once upon a time, many,
many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at the beginning of the
initiation of the mond, there was the caos.
One day, God (God is the
nome d'art of Dio), God, who was disoccupated, had a folgorant idea
and so God created the Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell was good,
very good, very very good, good 'na cifra.
The mangiation of God was
long, He manged one million of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact
that God has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much Nutell...
And after this mangiation,
God invented the Water Closed Run, the cors in the cabinet, and some
Nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the panz, the cellulit and
ceter, and ceter. After di which (dopodiche') he invented Adamo ed
Eva and all the paradise and he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you have
all the Paradise, you can do everything, very tutt: you have the permission
to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit,
nothing concors of impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing IRPEF,
ILOR. Only very ozious life: television, telenovels, football, moviols,
process of Monday, appell of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and
ceter, and ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters,
all the Paradise is yours: air-conditioned, autom riscaldament, moquette,
parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet, eccet....
"There's just one thing,
remember, in tutt the Paradise just one thing absolutely prohibited.
Come, come to me in the giardin:
this is "the Nocciol",
the alber of the Nutell. Only this alber of the Nutell is prohibited,
because I like the Nutell very much, very very much, much 'na cifra
and I want all the Nutell, tutt the Nutell for me."
During the prim temps,
Adamo and Eva were very happy. Adamo said:"What a cool! ('Cool' is
not in Italian 'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che cul') All the
Paradise is nostr!" And everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered something
new. A lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na cifra
di scoperts. One day the scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert
of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and ceter, and ceter.
But one day, a trist day,
a very very trist day, trist 'na cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert
of the first colazion. And after the scopert of the cappuccin, the
scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert of the cornetts, they understood
that something was mancant. "Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think that
qualcos is mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp this fett?" "Second
me" Eva risposed "'ncopp the fett you have to metter burr and marmelade."
"No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif myself. I want ncopp
this fett something very particular, very very particular, particular
'na cifra. What do you think about the Nutell?" "No, Adamo you are
scording that the Signor said that's vietat!" "Yes, I remember, but
only a little assaggiation, don't succed nothing!" And Adamo sces
in the cortil where the alber of the Nutell was and he pres a small
barattol and spalmed the brown cream on the fett and assagged the
Adamo and Eva don't ebber
the time to exprimer the godiment that the tuons and fulmins apparved
in the ciel and one voice said:
"Potevamo stupirv you with
special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva, come here!
I'm very incazz with you, very very incazz, incazz 'na cifra! How
did you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't you remember that it was
"Cazz!" esclamed Adamo
"It was prohibited! Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na
cifra, God, I really really was completely scordat..."
Don't do that fint tont,
Adamo, I'm God, I can see everything, very tutt, and I know that you
and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated the Nutell. So you have
a big punhition, a very castig for your peccat. But siccom I'm sconfinatly
good, you can choose, you have two scelts:
"Scelt number 1: nothing
Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the secols, amen!" "Nooo!"
Eva was piagnucoling "It's a thing very tragic, very very tragic,
tragic 'na cifra!" "Aspett!" said God "Don't be frettolous woman...
"Scelt number 2: you can
take the Nutell, no problem, let's prend, prend, but for you is the
cacciation out of the Paradise. You will have to lavorar with the
sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr, you'll have mal of schien
and, like this don't bastass, everytime you will mang Nutell, the
malediction of the brufols, of the mal of panch, of the cacarel will
be cadent on you." "Ale'!" esclaimed Adamo "Thank you God, thank you,
we don't interess the cacciation dal Paradise, the important is to
have the Nutell! Goodbye! Ciao, ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were
cacciated and this original peccat and this malediction cadded on
lor and on lor discendents, and on the discendents of the discendents.
Infact, tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the ragazz that
per aver one fett of pan and Nutell they scalan the mountains they
stay in a tend al fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of
tutti noi is "It's meglio faticar and soffrir with the Nutell piuttost
che the Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell."